Tips For Dating Fat Girls [Ask the Gear Queen]

Title (as given to the record by the creator): Tips For Dating Fat Girls [Ask the Gear Queen]
Date(s) of creation:  June, 1995
Creator / author / publisher: Gear Queen, Fat Girl
Physical description: The page has split text which curves around the “Ask the Gear Queen” insignia, a cross between a woman and a bird with prominent talons and a crown on her head. The “do’s and do not’s” are in bold.
Reference #: FG3-049-GearQueen
Links:  [ PDF ]

Ask the Gear Queen

a drawing of a harpy, which resembles a mix of a bird and a queen
Image: The “Ask the Gear Queen” insignia, a cross between a woman and a bird with prominent talons and a crown on her head.

Gentle Readers, So you finally worked up your courage and asked her out on a date? Congratulations! Now your hands are sweaty, your heart is pounding, and in between questions like “What should I wear?” and “If I throw some condoms, gloves, lube, 2 dildos, a buttplug, and maybe some peppermint oil and clothespins into the glove compartment (just in case), will she think I’m a slut?” You’re thinking “What if I do something stupid? What if I say something wrong?” You need help. You need the Gear Queen’s: 


The basic thing to remember is that as size increases so does the likelihood of running into accessibility problems with your gear (cars, restaurants, etc.). Here are some things to think about. How big is your dream girl? Where does she carry her weight? How mobile is she? Where have you seen her out and about? Where was she sitting? Did she look comfortable? Let’s say that you plan to pick up your girl (in a car), go to dinner and a show, and then go back to your house. (To talk, of course.) 

DO remember that your girl takes up space, and she’ll need room on sidewalks, bus benches, in crowded aisles, etc. 

DO move the car seat all the way back before you pick her up. It makes more room for her and the seat belt is more likely to fit.

DO NOT make a scene if the seat belt doesn’t fit (unless it’s a rented car and you’re making the scene with the rental agency.) 

DO remember that you get bonus points for having a seat belt extender. (Provided that it is already attached or stored right at hand. No digging beneath the soggy dog food in the sub-trunk to find it.) 

DO park away from the curb or let her out before you park. Its easier to get out of a car if your stepping down onto the street rather than climbing up onto the curb. 

DO NOT stand inside doorways while holding the doors open. 

DO NOT open the car door and then stand in the corner by the hinges. Get out of the way so that she can get into, or out of, the car. 

DO pay attention to your walking speed and, 

DO allow her to set the pace. 

DO call ahead to any restaurant you are planning to go to. Make sure that they have accessible bathrooms, moveable tables, and armless, FOUR-LEGGED chairs.

DO make early reservations at restaurants which are too crowded to be comfortable later in the evening. 

DO NOT make her sit in the chair that sticks out into the aisle. DO move the table so that it is centered on her body rather than off to the side. 

DO NOT spend dinner talking about dieting or about how you used to be much bigger/smaller before you started/stopped exercising. Not even if you’re trying to tell her that your glad she is the size she is and doesn’t obsess about her weight. 

DO NOT assume that she’d prefer to share a dessert.

DO NOT buy expensive tickets for a performance at any place you haven’t actually seen her go unless you are certain they are willing to provide alternative seating or refund the tickets if necessary. (I’d be pretty specific about this point. While it’s unpleasant to have to leave the symphony because the seats are too small, its even more unpleasant to lose the $140.00 you spent on tickets because the management won’t refund them.) 

DO tell your date where you are going. She can veto any places she knows she won’t fit ahead of time. DO NOT insist that she explain her reasons. But if she does volunteer that she can’t go to X place because of accessibility problems 

DO try to think of solutions. Perhaps you could go to the same movie at a different theater? Or see a different movie at her favorite theater? Maybe there is a way to fix the seating problem? (HINT: Try bringing your own chairs or making the ushers carry one of the lobby benches into the wheelchair area. It’s worked for me!) 

DO support her through dealing with difficulties. Go with her to talk to the manager, 

or go alone. 

But DO NOT force your date to become a fat-positive, size liberationist ACTION if your companion would really rather go and ‘park’ at lookout point. 

DO make sure that your bed is sturdy (slipping some bricks or milk crates underneath can work wonders) and that there’s something edible for breakfast. It never hurts to be prepared. 

DO NOT offer to lend her your “really big” 1X t-shirt to sleep in. 

Most of all DO think ahead, but don’t worry too much. No matter what comes up it won’t ruin your date unless you let it.* 

p.s. My search for size 38L bras continues. The closest I have found so far are bras offered in the catalog Lady Grace which come up to band size 52 and cup size H! They also have small cup bras, nursing bras, and really kinky girdles. As to the dildo harness issue, G.D. (Greedy Dyke) Productions makes washable black denim harnesses which are fully adjustable on all the straps. They come in two sizes. One size for hips up to 52″, the other for hips over 52. See the catalog listings (starting on page 65) for more information on these companies. Keep those cards and letters coming. —G.Q.