Helpful Hint: Hysterical Pregnancy and lnsta-Birthing: 

Title:  Helpful Hint: Hysterical Pregnancy and lnsta-Birthing: 
Date(s) of creation:  October, 1994
Creator / author / publisher:  FaT GiRL
Physical description:
 One block of a zine page that contains several items.
Reference #:  FG1-040-HelpfulHint
Links:  [ PDF ]

Image description:

A tall, narrow frame with an image of a small hand grenade and the following text:

Helpful Hint

Hysterical Pregnancy and lnsta-Birthing: 

Next time someone harasses you about being fat or looking pregnant, give ’em what they’re asking for. Turn your back and look downward (giving them the misleading appearance that they’ve made you feel humiliated and horrible about yourself), and stuff whatever you might be carrying into your clothing. Then, turn the tables on your unsuspecting victim(s) by clutching your bulging, padded gut and stumbling towards him/her with an arm outstretched, moaning and grunting: “Help me! I’m going to have my baby!” The louder the better. The fatphobe will look frightened and confused, but don’t let him/her get away! 

The piece de resistance comes when you squat and grunt and give birth to whatever you were able to stash away under your clothes. Best results if you can pull it out from between your legs — especially if you pre-plan the action and have a bloody barbie doll, used tampon, or groceries (Hostess Twinkies, fresh tomatoes, and shaken cans of soda work well when plopped to the ground). And remember, the more the merrier! 

(Friends having multiple simultaneous births makes for a more blessed event.)