Poetry: arms bigger than, first date

Title (as given to the record by the creator):  arms bigger than, first date
Date(s) of creation:  Issue 4: October 1995
Creator / author / publisher: Candida Albicans Royale, Fat Girl
Physical description:
Page has two poems, one on the upper left, one on the lower right. Behind the poems there is the lighter shadow of what appears to be a winged bug or sea creature.
Reference #: FG4-030-Arms
Links: [ PDF ]

arms bigger than 

by Candida Albicans Royale 

she was most ungentle-
manly in her manner         her way 
of treating me 

can be narrowed down to a simple look 
aimed at the decorative fleshy mounds 
I draw to my heart like plumage 
like wrapping paper 
like pink fluffy frosting
on a cardboard cake

I ♥ my body 

There is a certain look I let fly on the hand-
some face that is trained on those distant mammaries 
I guess they’re mine while we chat about nothing 
in particular. 

It’s those arms, though, arms bigger than 
larger than arms that reduce me to the size of a pebble and about as hard 

I have known sharpness always and worked it to a fine edge, even 
taken pride in it but this dull numbness is foreign & I wonder 
who has taken my libido for hostage and if 
you find it, will you please ask about my heart? 

p.s. Am I fat? 

First Date 

by Candida Albicans Royale 

When I get home
alone, I’ll cast my clothes off 
fling shoes to the floor and sink 
my fingers into that casserole dish 
red sauce that bubbled over the edge when I first took it 
from the oven and burned my mouth on it; this dish that 
waits for me to pull out 
chunks that congealed in my absence and
suck them soft while I try to quit shaking. 
For some reason, it’s all I can taste when 
this stranger puts her tongue in 
my mouth and I know 
later it won’t taste half as good