Issue Survey – Have you had positive experiences in the dyke community about your body size?

Title:  Issue Survey – Have you had positive experiences in the dyke community about your body size?
Date(s) of creation: February 1995
Creator / author / publisher:  Fat Girl
Physical description:
two zine pages with bulleted text and two photos printed in black and white.
Reference #:  FG2-056-057-Survey
Links: [ PDF ]

Issue Survey

Have you had positive experiences in the dyke community about your body size?

  • Yes, hooking up with other fat dykes via the inter­net and internet relay chat (IRC).
  • I was the de-facto spokeswoman at events relating to a coffeehouse I helped organize—I’m pretty ver­bal, have good social skills, and was big enough to get attention.
  • Most PC dyke organizations and publications try not to be obvious about their physical prejudices in public.
  • There are always fat lovers in the dyke crowd I’ve come to learn. Fat-o-philes are everywhere.

[image description:  “Oso”: A black and white photo features a Chicano butch from the thighs up standing in front of a white interior door. They wear black pants, a white tuxedo shirt, a black bowtie, and black suspenders that frame their belly and puffed out chest. Their thumbs are tucked in their belt loops and their head tilts back to enhance the proud, provoking stare beneath their thick brow. The name “Oso” is typed in black text at the bottom left corner of the photo.]

  • Email friends say it doesn’t matter. But you never know until you really meet face to face.
  • Yes. Just the other day a woman passed me on the street and said out loud “Oh Baby.” Nice. But not too often. Usually I feel like everyone, dykes included, try to make me invisible.
  • I never believed anyone could love my fat body, but two women did. It was radical.
  • The Women En Large slideshow at our local dyke book­store was great—lots of luscious fat dykes and thin allies.
  • I feel more size acceptance here then anywhere else. I don’t feel women look at my size to decide if I’m cute or not or if I’m smart or not.
  • I’ve had wonderful lovers. I don’t have any trouble find­ing lovers, either.
  • I met a wonderful woman who taught me I should love myself because of who I am and not hate myself for what size I am. Size acceptance has a long way to go but it cer­tainly seems that the forefront of the movement is within the dyke community.
  • I was solicited to help create this band of fat dykes as models for a musical comedy written by some local dykes. It was great fun having these women asking us, observing us, to see how fat dykes moved naturally, how we felt about our bodies/what we liked about ourselves, and have it come together in a musical comedy that i also got to act in. (Return of the Hammer, written by cappy kotz, music by phrinn pickett, Seattle ’85 or ’86, I forget which year.)
  • I like bonding with other fat dykes about being fat. This never happens between me and fat straight women. And some dykes are totally out there and fucking fat-positive! Sometimes, a skinny or smaller dyke will become very bashful around me, and visibly attracted. It feels really flattering, as though they value full/curvy/strong bodies as superior to their own. While I hope they don’t feel bad about their own bodies, it’s nice to sometimes come across the feeling (from those “without”) that bigger is better.
  • Absolutely. Great sex w/other fat dykes being #1 on the list. But general appreciation, especially as a leatherdyke.

[image description:  
“Val and Steph”: A black and white photo shows two fat light-skinned queers in repose together with the text “Val & Steph” in white letters at the bottom left corner of the photo. Val, a person with short dark hair and a dark shirt with horizontal stripes lays back and peers at us from under the shadow of their lashes. Steph, a second person with long curly hair lays belly to belly with Val, head resting on their chest. One of Steph’s hands reaches to hold the hair gathered at the back of their neck, while the other hand, wrapped in metal bangles, is strung across Val’s waist. Each hand is adorned with multiple rings.]

  • Yes I have. As I said, I went rather suddenly from being a relatively small person to becoming a large person. This could have been a traumatic experience, but I was very lucky, because at the time, I was surrounded by several friends who were either fat themselves, or very aware of issues pertaining to oppression of fat women and had fat-positive attitudes. So I felt supported by my friends, and still felt that my looks were appreciated. My lover was fat, and she was comfortable with my gaining weight. And I always thought *she* was sexy, so it was possible for me to believe that she would find me sexy. So I felt protected from a lot of the negativity that someone else might have had to deal with if they had gone through a similar change. More recently, here in California, it’s been more of a mixed bag. I haven’t been choosing friends on the basis of their attitudes about fat (although, of course, they would have to have minimal acceptance to even want to be my friend!) But some of my friends here are more weight-conscious, and are concerned with diets, etc. At the same time, I also have some friends here who have positive attitudes about size so I do have support. And lately, I’ve been connecting with the fat dyke community, so I’ve had a lot more of that.
  • I’ve had some very positive experiences in the SF dyke commu­nity about my size. In Lesbian Avengers, it’s the smaller women who often bring up the fact that we don’t order large enough t-shirts. At Whiptail, my size has never been an issue. I often see large, fat and super-sized women at local bathhouses, and they are friendly and relaxed with me. The SM scene is cool about my size. It’s also a positive experience for me to see so many fat couples, or fat/skinny couples, walking around in love in the sunshine. I’m really impressed.
  • After writing to several companies about tiny shirts, several have expanded (no pun intended) to include up to 5XL!
  • I’ve been picked up, told I’m attractive, adorable, sensual. Can’t argue. I’d fuck me. Some people really appreciate my softness and like that I look like a woman. One girl recently told me she needed a matronly woman to give her a good spanking (me).
  • I fell in love!
  • Yes! For me size has 2 meanings. I’m fat as well as being 6’1″. I have felt appreciated for being big (an amazon). I don’t know if it was fat-positive.
  • Yeah … Let it All Hang Out Day is cool.
  • Yeah, I’ve had nothing but fat-loving lovers, some big and beautiful, too, some slim, but all positive about my big bodacious self. In the community as a whole women are more willing to look at their sizeist shit, sometimes.
  • In general most women are real accepting.